Friday, 1 October 2010

Friday 1 October | Exercise 5

7 ways to use a tortoise...


1. Keep breeding your tortoise until you have six and then train them to pull  small cart.
2. As a hard hat. For military purposes would be good.

3. Garden markers. Paint information on his back. Place near a supply of lettuce. This may not work.
4. If the tortoise has gone on holiday, maybe back to Madagascar to see their relatives. Use as heavy gloves.
5. The following suggestion is not suitable for vegetarians. Kill the tortoise and gouge out it's body, use it for a bowl to serve nibbles in at your 'I'm a vicious tortoise killer' party.
6. Also not suitable for veggies or tortoise lovers... Make tortoise foot soup and serve in bowls made from the left over shells. (3 large tortoises will feed about 6 people as a starter).
7. Shave small amounts of the shell and grind into a smooth paste - spread on toast and feed to hyperactive children. Sell this remedy for a lot of money.


1. Road crossing Patrol (i.e. lollipop lady for a local school)
2. Frisbee that can hang onto a surface it lands on
3. Goods transportation inside a warehouse
4. Line painter for roads
5. Tester of treadmills for the elderly
6. One brick at a time brick mover
7. If using a turtle, automatic coffee stirrer...

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